February 08, 2007
~ Randomly...
Today, Kat skipped-walked at the corridor along my section. I happened to look up from my excel sheets infested computer at that moment. For a moment there, I thought I saw Kay.
I thought I saw Kay skip-walking along the aisle of the staff room in PL. She used to do that a lot. Whenever she felt restless or had something exciting or happy to share with me.
For that moment, I saw Kay. Or, is it Ah Girl?
xxx
Indignation. Resentment. Disappointment. Denial. Repression.
I smsed Joyce that I wonder if what she felt then is what I'm feeling now. Perhaps, I can now understand that it's so not funny when you feel like puking when you saw your xbf.
How much disappointment and disillusions... all turning into some sort of disgust.
xxx
Empathy for myself. I'm thinking, there will come a time when I understand how important that is.
But now, all my capacity of empathy empties into tears when I read the book I'm reading now. The Quiet Room. About a schizophrenic girl's journey through her condition and how she manages it. Enough to write a book about it.
I just have this wave of extreme sadness as I read it on the way home. In crammed train carriages. This need to cry and feel sorry. Sometimes, I don't know who, or what, I'm feeling sorry for when I cry.
xxx
An email from Anna just made my day. =)
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:56